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Dead Account is dead
1 min read
as the title says, this account is dead, but i didn't remove it because it contains my older works
sorry for those who tried to contact me in DA, I should've make this public long time ago
I'm currently over at
Pixiv: www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=36…
Twitter: twitter.com/hellangelz
(warning: contain NSFW materials)
sorry for those who tried to contact me in DA, I should've make this public long time ago
I'm currently over at
Pixiv: www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=36…
Twitter: twitter.com/hellangelz
(warning: contain NSFW materials)
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You are not an Otaku
5 min read
is it because anime started to become more well-accepted that more anime lovers coming out to the light?
or is it because of anime starts to climb in popularity that, being an "anime-loving otaku" becomes the definition of "popular"?
I'll say it's baffling that how people would jump up and claim themselves as an "otaku", "geek", "nerd" or "freak", when in the past people will take offense in such names.
now, to be fair, contrasy to some believes, "otaku" doesn't automaticly carries a negative mean.
from wikipedia: "Otaku is derived from a Japanese term for another's house or family (お宅, otaku). This word is often used metaphorically, as an honorific second-person pronoun. In this usage, its literal translation is "you". For example, in the anime Macross, first aired in 1982, Lynn Minmay uses the term this way."
"In modern Japanese slang, the term otaku is most often equivalent to "geek". However, it can relate to a fan of any particular theme, topic, hobby or any form of entertainment. The term otaku can be applied to both males and females.For example, Reki-jo are female otaku interested in Japanese history. While the word is used abroad to mean a fan of anime and manga who enjoys the anime culture, In Japan, the word can be looked down upon as a term for a person with any obsessive interest (This is not confined to anime and manga) in particular some cases reaching extreme levels such as Men falling in love with Dakimakura (Body Pillows). "When these people are referred to as otaku, they are judged for their behaviors - and people suddenly see an "otaku" as a person unable to relate to reality"."
that doesn't sound too bad, but why does people be offended when an over-enthusiastic or regular people uses the term?
the problem lies in the incident that defines the stereotypical image of an "otaku":
in Japan 1989, a guy named Tsutomu Miyazaki is arrested for a series of kidnapping, murdering and raping that involves 4 childrens. He was described as a mild mannered employee and during the search of his room, a huge collection of anime and slasher films were discovered, which is then used to reason his crime motive. He also known to have terrorize the victim's family with description of how the victim died and cannibalised them.
Dubbed as the Otaku Murderer, public started to have a distinct image of otakus based on him: quiet, creepy, nerdy and pedophilic. The diverse anime genre (loli, shota, gore were a norm before it went under) at the time also fueled the way people perceive anime lovers.
which is why, till this day, some people will take offense if they were called "otaku", or when some unsuspecting yahoos decided that the "creepy, nerdy and pedophilic otaku" title sounded "radical".
also, like many other fanclub community, elitism exists within the "otaku" community.
as weird as measuring how high the "otaku" level is, there is a basis to it: although people would love to have more people sharing their interest, what they do not like to see is their interests being dumbed down. Back when the term "otaku" weren't this popular, anime enthusiasts had to be secretive of their interest due to prejudices, cope with hard to obtain materials, face social awkwardness as they have no one to talk about their interest, the price they paid for anime is simply invalueable.
however, when such genre is made popular, people tend to be more open about their "otaku-ness", shows are everywhere, and people start jumping onto the bandwagon as fans even though their commitment to the hobby is obviously lacking. It's comparable to how some film fans felt about new generations that are into films only for the special effects; or how sport fans felt when a large amount of fans surge in only when the supporting team is winning while the original fans have been there since the team's depression era.
people have to understand that what they do only in their free time does not equivalent to the hobbies they willing to free the time for. For a crude example, if a friend invites you on a fishing trip when you're on vacation, you wouldn't call yourself having the hobby of fishing nor a fishing enthusiast based on that trip; however, if after coming back from that trip, you started arranging time so you can go on more fishing trips, learned a lot about fishing and want to learn more because you're interested with it, even doing such hobbies without the need of a company, then you are a fishing enthusiast.
with all that is said, I personally prefer if people view the term "otaku" in a more neutral light and understand more about the word before calling themselves one.
it's not an automatic definition of "socially awkward hentai loving freak" (although it's kinda hard to remove public perception of "hentai" with all the fanservices anime have these days)
nor it is a golden trophy that should be hyped.
it simply means someone who is an enthusiast of a certain subject. (still, enthusiast is more of a polite word as the word "otaku" still carries a hint of "home-stuck")
or is it because of anime starts to climb in popularity that, being an "anime-loving otaku" becomes the definition of "popular"?
I'll say it's baffling that how people would jump up and claim themselves as an "otaku", "geek", "nerd" or "freak", when in the past people will take offense in such names.
now, to be fair, contrasy to some believes, "otaku" doesn't automaticly carries a negative mean.
from wikipedia: "Otaku is derived from a Japanese term for another's house or family (お宅, otaku). This word is often used metaphorically, as an honorific second-person pronoun. In this usage, its literal translation is "you". For example, in the anime Macross, first aired in 1982, Lynn Minmay uses the term this way."
"In modern Japanese slang, the term otaku is most often equivalent to "geek". However, it can relate to a fan of any particular theme, topic, hobby or any form of entertainment. The term otaku can be applied to both males and females.For example, Reki-jo are female otaku interested in Japanese history. While the word is used abroad to mean a fan of anime and manga who enjoys the anime culture, In Japan, the word can be looked down upon as a term for a person with any obsessive interest (This is not confined to anime and manga) in particular some cases reaching extreme levels such as Men falling in love with Dakimakura (Body Pillows). "When these people are referred to as otaku, they are judged for their behaviors - and people suddenly see an "otaku" as a person unable to relate to reality"."
that doesn't sound too bad, but why does people be offended when an over-enthusiastic or regular people uses the term?
the problem lies in the incident that defines the stereotypical image of an "otaku":
in Japan 1989, a guy named Tsutomu Miyazaki is arrested for a series of kidnapping, murdering and raping that involves 4 childrens. He was described as a mild mannered employee and during the search of his room, a huge collection of anime and slasher films were discovered, which is then used to reason his crime motive. He also known to have terrorize the victim's family with description of how the victim died and cannibalised them.
Dubbed as the Otaku Murderer, public started to have a distinct image of otakus based on him: quiet, creepy, nerdy and pedophilic. The diverse anime genre (loli, shota, gore were a norm before it went under) at the time also fueled the way people perceive anime lovers.
which is why, till this day, some people will take offense if they were called "otaku", or when some unsuspecting yahoos decided that the "creepy, nerdy and pedophilic otaku" title sounded "radical".
also, like many other fanclub community, elitism exists within the "otaku" community.
as weird as measuring how high the "otaku" level is, there is a basis to it: although people would love to have more people sharing their interest, what they do not like to see is their interests being dumbed down. Back when the term "otaku" weren't this popular, anime enthusiasts had to be secretive of their interest due to prejudices, cope with hard to obtain materials, face social awkwardness as they have no one to talk about their interest, the price they paid for anime is simply invalueable.
however, when such genre is made popular, people tend to be more open about their "otaku-ness", shows are everywhere, and people start jumping onto the bandwagon as fans even though their commitment to the hobby is obviously lacking. It's comparable to how some film fans felt about new generations that are into films only for the special effects; or how sport fans felt when a large amount of fans surge in only when the supporting team is winning while the original fans have been there since the team's depression era.
people have to understand that what they do only in their free time does not equivalent to the hobbies they willing to free the time for. For a crude example, if a friend invites you on a fishing trip when you're on vacation, you wouldn't call yourself having the hobby of fishing nor a fishing enthusiast based on that trip; however, if after coming back from that trip, you started arranging time so you can go on more fishing trips, learned a lot about fishing and want to learn more because you're interested with it, even doing such hobbies without the need of a company, then you are a fishing enthusiast.
with all that is said, I personally prefer if people view the term "otaku" in a more neutral light and understand more about the word before calling themselves one.
it's not an automatic definition of "socially awkward hentai loving freak" (although it's kinda hard to remove public perception of "hentai" with all the fanservices anime have these days)
nor it is a golden trophy that should be hyped.
it simply means someone who is an enthusiast of a certain subject. (still, enthusiast is more of a polite word as the word "otaku" still carries a hint of "home-stuck")
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No, thank you, I rather be...
6 min read
People tend to have common ideas on who and what one should be like, which differs in society they're in.
Just a some thought towards the society I'm in.
- you need to devote yourself to a religion to be good
No, thank you, I rather be atheist.
I don't feel the need to worship anything nor feel that you need to be in any religion to be a ethical or non-ethical person. What you are is based on the environment you are brought up and the decisions you made yourself.
Regardless of society nor religious teaching, one does tend to make up their own value due to their experience.
I would say, anyone that is willing to take up a philosophic book and allow their own values for scrutiny are in self-improving progress. Of course, I can't guarantee that they are improving themselves to their society's standard.
owh yea, I dislike religious extremists and hypocrites. For extremists, they tend to take their religion seriously to a dangerous level, causing shallow religious discrimination and calling an issue religious when it's not. For hypocrites, you know the drill, they can say 'I'm ok with homosexuality' but when their religion recognize same sex marriage, they rage.
however, at least extremists show you that they are despicable while hypocrites show you their lovable side while continously back stab you.
- you should socialize
No, thank you, I rather be a solitude person.
I just don't feel the need to go out and mixes with people... whom I eventually would become background of. I don't really 'click' with them nor they would bother with a new person more compare to their other friends. My critical self would not allow me to agree with people all the time and it doesn't help that I tend to address the point to... well, the extremists.
plus, I don't like to argue as it is tiresome nor have people go "how can you say that!" before I can elaborate that I prefer to be quiet one in the group.
Then again, I do like a 'no' within an all 'yes' debate, given that the 'no' person give a civilized argument. I personally like that part of diversity and think it would make the whole debate more interesting. I prefer to read an article about critiques rather than an article praise, partly because I can reconcile with them, partly because it's just more interesting than just reading "omg it's awesome!"
The only reason I have FB is because I want to see 'soap doramas' and see those pesky FB link friends give that you need FB to open. Nothing more, nothing less.
- you should find a girl friend
No, thank you, again, I rather be a solitude person.
I don't get it.
Why everyone around expect teenagers to be the cliche love lusting people? Screw the guy next to me is the exact same age but married, single isn't all that bad.
I don't have to be bind down by a mate nor a family when traveling nor like to take care of someone all the time.
I would agree that some people prefer to be loved, then again, sorry that's them, not me.
- you should cut your hair
No, thank you, I love my long hair.
I look ridiculous in short hair and don't like the 'boring neat guy' or 'duh dummy' look.
yes, it's bothersome at times that I have to take care of them, but I prefer having long hair.
hot? I don't think so.
heavy? nope.
you just didn't like it because it doesn't suit your idealized 'men look'.
- you should be optimistic
No, thank you, I prefer to be realistic.
I don't like to be disappointed due to having high expectation and prefer to be prepared for things coming my way... that is if I know what's coming.
I'm not emo, period.
When I'm pessimistic, the thought tend to push me forward or make me have a brainstorm for solution instead of struck me in a depression. To me, my pessimistic natural is healthy.
- you should be nicer to people
No, thank you, also, please explain your definition of 'being nice'
If you meant being polite and kind, well, I am being very nice and kind... except to the people whom violate my principle. Consider me being nice to you if I stfu and let you gets away with it for a couple of time. Consider it a kindness if I don't pick up what I left off last time and want the relationship to be a new.
If you meant being a 'yes man', package myself to be nice despite I secretly hate you, sorry, it ain't my style to be a hypocrite. What you see is what you get, at least you don't need to worry about hidden dilemmas. Again, back stabbing isn't my style.
If you meant stop being a troll, well, I never intended to be one to begin with.
Yes, my words are sarcastic at times, it's the way I talk, sometimes I'm just making a bad joke instead of being serious.
Yes, I'm critical, but it was not meant to pick on you and make you feel bad, I really do hope you'll improve. You'll feel good about it, I'll have a better reading material from you.
Yes, I'm vulgar at times, because I show my emotion more directly, again, the bad jokes.
Yes, I talk back when others critique my works, because I feel the need to explain my work and would like a discussion to improve.
if people wanted to see what I said as trolling.
Fine! I'll be your 'troll'.
It's not like your mind would change no matter what I said, you just want to justify that I come here to gather hatred for attention. So be it.
If you meant be nice as in be more socialize, look above to "you should socialize". If my feelings towards a personal is neutral and lower, I tend to be the quiet and cold person. No hard feelings, I don't specific-ly feel like being excited with people I don't know or hate.
==================================================
thanks and sorry for taking your time to read my rants.
Just a some thought towards the society I'm in.
- you need to devote yourself to a religion to be good
No, thank you, I rather be atheist.
I don't feel the need to worship anything nor feel that you need to be in any religion to be a ethical or non-ethical person. What you are is based on the environment you are brought up and the decisions you made yourself.
Regardless of society nor religious teaching, one does tend to make up their own value due to their experience.
I would say, anyone that is willing to take up a philosophic book and allow their own values for scrutiny are in self-improving progress. Of course, I can't guarantee that they are improving themselves to their society's standard.
owh yea, I dislike religious extremists and hypocrites. For extremists, they tend to take their religion seriously to a dangerous level, causing shallow religious discrimination and calling an issue religious when it's not. For hypocrites, you know the drill, they can say 'I'm ok with homosexuality' but when their religion recognize same sex marriage, they rage.
however, at least extremists show you that they are despicable while hypocrites show you their lovable side while continously back stab you.
- you should socialize
No, thank you, I rather be a solitude person.
I just don't feel the need to go out and mixes with people... whom I eventually would become background of. I don't really 'click' with them nor they would bother with a new person more compare to their other friends. My critical self would not allow me to agree with people all the time and it doesn't help that I tend to address the point to... well, the extremists.
plus, I don't like to argue as it is tiresome nor have people go "how can you say that!" before I can elaborate that I prefer to be quiet one in the group.
Then again, I do like a 'no' within an all 'yes' debate, given that the 'no' person give a civilized argument. I personally like that part of diversity and think it would make the whole debate more interesting. I prefer to read an article about critiques rather than an article praise, partly because I can reconcile with them, partly because it's just more interesting than just reading "omg it's awesome!"
The only reason I have FB is because I want to see 'soap doramas' and see those pesky FB link friends give that you need FB to open. Nothing more, nothing less.
- you should find a girl friend
No, thank you, again, I rather be a solitude person.
I don't get it.
Why everyone around expect teenagers to be the cliche love lusting people? Screw the guy next to me is the exact same age but married, single isn't all that bad.
I don't have to be bind down by a mate nor a family when traveling nor like to take care of someone all the time.
I would agree that some people prefer to be loved, then again, sorry that's them, not me.
- you should cut your hair
No, thank you, I love my long hair.
I look ridiculous in short hair and don't like the 'boring neat guy' or 'duh dummy' look.
yes, it's bothersome at times that I have to take care of them, but I prefer having long hair.
hot? I don't think so.
heavy? nope.
you just didn't like it because it doesn't suit your idealized 'men look'.
- you should be optimistic
No, thank you, I prefer to be realistic.
I don't like to be disappointed due to having high expectation and prefer to be prepared for things coming my way... that is if I know what's coming.
I'm not emo, period.
When I'm pessimistic, the thought tend to push me forward or make me have a brainstorm for solution instead of struck me in a depression. To me, my pessimistic natural is healthy.
- you should be nicer to people
No, thank you, also, please explain your definition of 'being nice'
If you meant being polite and kind, well, I am being very nice and kind... except to the people whom violate my principle. Consider me being nice to you if I stfu and let you gets away with it for a couple of time. Consider it a kindness if I don't pick up what I left off last time and want the relationship to be a new.
If you meant being a 'yes man', package myself to be nice despite I secretly hate you, sorry, it ain't my style to be a hypocrite. What you see is what you get, at least you don't need to worry about hidden dilemmas. Again, back stabbing isn't my style.
If you meant stop being a troll, well, I never intended to be one to begin with.
Yes, my words are sarcastic at times, it's the way I talk, sometimes I'm just making a bad joke instead of being serious.
Yes, I'm critical, but it was not meant to pick on you and make you feel bad, I really do hope you'll improve. You'll feel good about it, I'll have a better reading material from you.
Yes, I'm vulgar at times, because I show my emotion more directly, again, the bad jokes.
Yes, I talk back when others critique my works, because I feel the need to explain my work and would like a discussion to improve.
if people wanted to see what I said as trolling.
Fine! I'll be your 'troll'.
It's not like your mind would change no matter what I said, you just want to justify that I come here to gather hatred for attention. So be it.
If you meant be nice as in be more socialize, look above to "you should socialize". If my feelings towards a personal is neutral and lower, I tend to be the quiet and cold person. No hard feelings, I don't specific-ly feel like being excited with people I don't know or hate.
==================================================
thanks and sorry for taking your time to read my rants.
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a little meme fun
1 min read
as title says
Rules: IF you comment on it you'll get your three favorite deviations from me featured. THOUGH, you have to post this journal with me in the first spot and your three favorite deviations from me.
1.)
fav.me/d2kd619 fav.me/d2wz3z1 fav.me/d2ek0lt
2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
Rules: IF you comment on it you'll get your three favorite deviations from me featured. THOUGH, you have to post this journal with me in the first spot and your three favorite deviations from me.
1.)
fav.me/d2kd619 fav.me/d2wz3z1 fav.me/d2ek0lt2.)
3.)
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
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R.I.P. Onemanga
2 min read
a little tribute to Onemanga, a manga-streaming site that I have been visiting for long time.
the main site will be down soon due to scanlations issue. Manga publishers changed their stance on scanlations and no longer allows it, therefore Onemanga is going to remove all manga content(regardless if they are licensed or not).
before someone start going "OMG you support piracy!!", I have to say this:
- as I know, Onemanga DO NOT CHARGE the viewers for reading the manga there
- nor do them print and illegally sell the mangas
- if a manga is known to be licensed in U.S., Onemanga will remove them from viewable list and encourage one to buy the originals.
I would say, manga scanlation on the net would inevitably get the attention of the publishers due to the growing society whom read free mangas online, which will definitely obstruct the market sooner or later. I can't say I blame them, sometimes the publishers are being slow, sometimes the manga is ruined by the censors, sometimes the publishers do not import certain mangas.
I'm sad to hear the news, but at the same time, I have a neutral feeling towards the removal.
anyway, I have to thanks Onemanga for the mangas I normally won't be able to read, especially in this country. Normally, the inappropriate material will either get horribly censored or worst, not even allowed here. Most if not all mature manga here is pirated ones from Taiwan or China (BL did slip the eyes of the authority for long time until last year when the government went for a sudden serious purge on erotic things (no more erotic figurine to stare at *cries*))
Not to mention, there are a lot of manga that are never imported or too old(or I haven't seen them around yet) like Yokohama Kaidasi Kikou, Vinland Saga, Spriggan, and all Takahashi Tsutomu sensei's work and etc.
Thanks Onemanga for giving me the opportunity to read those interesting mangas and rest in peace.
the main site will be down soon due to scanlations issue. Manga publishers changed their stance on scanlations and no longer allows it, therefore Onemanga is going to remove all manga content(regardless if they are licensed or not).
before someone start going "OMG you support piracy!!", I have to say this:
- as I know, Onemanga DO NOT CHARGE the viewers for reading the manga there
- nor do them print and illegally sell the mangas
- if a manga is known to be licensed in U.S., Onemanga will remove them from viewable list and encourage one to buy the originals.
I would say, manga scanlation on the net would inevitably get the attention of the publishers due to the growing society whom read free mangas online, which will definitely obstruct the market sooner or later. I can't say I blame them, sometimes the publishers are being slow, sometimes the manga is ruined by the censors, sometimes the publishers do not import certain mangas.
I'm sad to hear the news, but at the same time, I have a neutral feeling towards the removal.
anyway, I have to thanks Onemanga for the mangas I normally won't be able to read, especially in this country. Normally, the inappropriate material will either get horribly censored or worst, not even allowed here. Most if not all mature manga here is pirated ones from Taiwan or China (BL did slip the eyes of the authority for long time until last year when the government went for a sudden serious purge on erotic things (no more erotic figurine to stare at *cries*))
Not to mention, there are a lot of manga that are never imported or too old(or I haven't seen them around yet) like Yokohama Kaidasi Kikou, Vinland Saga, Spriggan, and all Takahashi Tsutomu sensei's work and etc.
Thanks Onemanga for giving me the opportunity to read those interesting mangas and rest in peace.
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